Wow Christmas is over, and as of today there are only 3 days left until the new year. I have one more challenge for you before we begin a new chapter, year, and decade.
I dare you to make communication a priority.
Daring to communicate is such a hard task. I think communication is almost the most, if not the most important part of relationships. This isn’t just including romantic relationships, but all relationships. If you can't clearly communicate with someone it creates stress, tension, withholding, missed expectations, and insecurities. Communication is a lost talent. I believe we no longer push ourselves in this area because we are afraid. We are fearful of opinions, arguments, or even just fear of the truth.
Every person likes to put their best foot forward, but it's hard to share what we are really thinking. We’ve talked about how being vulnerable, authentic, and real can really benefit our lives, but communicating that to the people around you is crucial.
If you never tell anyone how you really feel or what you expect, you will never have a genuinely healthy relationship. While relationships do take compromise, and you don’t always have to get what you want, communicating what you want and how you feel is vital. Good communication is the bridge between confusion and clarity. Clarifying your thoughts with others takes out the opportunity for confusion.
For example, I’m very close with my mom, and growing up I would talk to her about everything. But sometimes I had to communicate what I needed from her. I would say, “I just need some encouragement about this subject because I’m feeling very discouraged and torn down.” Then I would share about what’s going on in my world. I had to preface what I was going to say, because I knew that if she had told me it wasn’t the best idea or it’s not a very reasonable thing then I would’ve gotten mad at her. (of course wrongfully so) But I think it’s better to explain where your headspace and expectations are than for someone to say something accidentally offensive and it create an argument.
Other times we might be scared to communicate with coworkers or our boss, coaches, old friends, relatives, or even our significant others. So in result we lie about how we feel and hide our thoughts and emotions. And while that takes a toll on your relationship, because it leaves ground for argument to spring up and anger and insecurities to dwell, it also damages your heart and stunts how you grow as a person.
Here are some truths I remind myself when I am intimidated to communicate how I really feel with someone else:
-I will feel better after they know.
-My feelings are valuable and need to be acknowledged.
-Telling my truth now will save us from heartache and confusion later.
-It can be short and kind. It won't take me long.
-Maybe I'm wrong and they can explain their truth.
and so on and so forth...
Telling myself these things helps me find the courage to communicate with others.
As we think about this topic, let's devote ourselves to really practicing it. Talk to your spouse or best friend. Let them know that you want to be more honest and learn how to communicate things better. Everyday, at least once, push yourself to say something you normally would hold in. I wish you guys the happiest of New Years. I know that through encouragement of others and purpose in our hearts we can continue to pursue our goals, whether that is to lose weight or be more understanding, I know you can do it!
Talk to you next year....
-Sophia Marie